September 12th, 2008 GregDDC
Link
This is from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source. I likes it.
EUREKA, CA—A local mountain lion came face-to-face with a group of hikers and made it out alive, sources reported Monday. Wildlife officials are crediting the courageous cougar’s quick thinking, catlike reflexes, and 150 pounds of coiled muscle with successfully fending off the human foot travelers.
Enlarge Image Mountain Lion
The quick-thinking cougar managed to escape by going for his attackers’ vulnerable torsos.
The mountain lion was reportedly enjoying a quiet afternoon walk around Redwood National Park, on the same path it had taken almost every single day for the past three years, when it heard a rustling sound emanating from the underbrush. Upon investigation, the large feline noticed that a pack of hikers—one adult male, two young children, and an adult female that it instantly recognized as the mother—had crossed into territory that the cat had clearly marked as its own via tree scrapings and urine.
Outnumbered four to one, the cougar, fearing for its life, somehow managed to stay calm. It remained perfectly still in a crouched position and stared directly at the hikers, in the hopes that they would simply pass by. The hikers, however, were undeterred. They began shrieking loudly, clapping their hands, and throwing sticks and rocks at the animal in an apparent attempt to injure it.
“Nothing can prepare a mountain lion for an encounter with four hikers,” said park ranger Kenneth Meiggs, noting that it is unusual to find hikers in that particular area of the woods. “In order to defend itself, the cougar had to rely on pure instinct alone.”
Enlarge Image Anatomy Of An Assault
Armed with nothing more than four-inch claws, razor-sharp teeth, and a 5.4-meter vertical leap, the mountain lion lunged at the adult male hiker. In a defensive measure, it pinned the hiker to the ground, thus disabling the man’s primary means of attack. After a brief struggle, the animal was eventually able to lock onto the hiker’s skull with its jaw.
“Repeated biting of the skull and face is the textbook way to fend off a human attack,” said Mike Kasperski, biologist and author of the book Hikers: Shadows In The Forest.
The mother, however, became increasingly aggressive due to the presence of her young. She reportedly ran toward the mountain lion with a four-inch-wide log and began striking it upon the head. Not knowing what else to do, the feline tore a foot-wide hole in the hiker’s stomach, but the enraged female continued to fight, poking the feline in the eye with her finger. The cougar, in a last-ditch effort for survival, whipped its claws across the woman’s throat, killing her instantly.
Remarkably, this brave mountain lion is only 4 and a half years old.
“It’s amazing what some mountain lions are capable of when faced with the most dire of circumstances,” Meiggs said. “To think that those hikers were a mere 20 yards away, and the lion walked away unscathed…. Wow.”
The two younger hikers received small lacerations on their legs and chest, while the adult male is being treated for massive head trauma and internal bleeding. The mother, identified as Cyndi Thalls, 38, of Pacoima, CA, was pronounced dead at the scene.
“I think it’s safe to say those hikers will think twice before getting into another tussle with this feisty little fellow,” Meiggs added with a chuckle.
Following the incident, the mountain lion retreated into the woods, escaping with nothing more than a few minor scratches and a blood-covered snout. At press time, it is resting comfortably on a large rock.
September 10th, 2008 GregDDC
I’m sure you all have seen this before, it’s been everywhere on the tubes. But I think it’s interesting so you get to see it again. Isn’t it curious that Oklahoma is one of the most divided states in the nation (along with Florida, South Carolina and New Mexico)? Another interesting item of note is that a lot of the areas of influence center around a large city, look at Chicago. ‘Sodas’ awash in a sea of ‘Pops’.
From Strange Maps:
When on a hot summer’s day you buy a carbonated beverage to quench your thirst, how do you order it? Do you ask for a soda, a pop or something else? That question lay at the basis of an article in the Journal of English Linguistics (Soda or Pop?, #24, 1996) and of a map, showing the regional variation in American English of the names given to that type of drink.
The article was written by Luanne von Schneidemesser, PhD in German linguistics and philology from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and senior editor of the Dictionary of American Regional English. And although there might be weightier issues in life (or even in linguistics) than the preferred terminology for a can of soft drink, there’s nothing trivial about this part of the beverage industry.
“According to an article last year in the Isthmus, Madison’s weekly newspaper, Americans drink so much of the carbonated beverages sold under such brand names as Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Sprite, Mountain Dew, and 7-Up that consumption averages 43 gallons per year for every man, woman, and child in the United States,” Von Schneidemesser begins her article. “The Statistical Abstract of the United States (1994) confirms this: 44.1 gallons per person in 1992, compared to the next most consumed beverages: beer (32.7 gallons), coffee (27.8 gallons), and milk (25.3 gallons).”
It must be that ubiquity of soft drinks that has made this pop vs soda map the single-most submitted map to this blog, sent in by over 100 contributors. The map details the areas where certain usages predominate.
- coke: this generic term for soft drinks predominates throughout the South, New Mexico, central Indiana and in a few other single counties in Nevada, Utah and Wyoming. ‘Coke’ obviously derives from Coca-Cola, the brand-name of the soft drink originally manufactured in Atlanta (which explains its use as a generic term for all soft drinks in the South).
- pop: dominates the Northwest, Great Plains and Midwest. The world ‘pop’ was introduced by Robert Southey, the British Poet Laureate (1774-1843), to whom we also owe the word ‘autobiography’, among others. In 1812, he wrote: A new manufactory of a nectar, between soda-water and ginger-beer, and called pop, because ‘pop goes the cork’ when it is drawn. Even though it was introduced by a Poet Laureate, the term ‘pop’ is considered unsophisticated by some, because it is onomatopaeic.
- soda: prevalent in the Northeast, greater Miami, the area in Missouri and Illinois surrounding St Louis and parts of northern California. ‘Soda’ derives from ‘soda-water’ (also called club soda, carbonated or sparkling water or seltzer). It’s produced by dissolving carbon dioxide gas in plain water, a procedure developed by Joseph Priestly in the latter half of the 18th century. The fizziness of soda-water caused the term ‘soda’ to be associated with later, similarly carbonated soft drinks.
- Other, lesser-used terms include ‘dope’ in the Carolinas and ‘tonic’ in and around Boston, both fading in popularity. Other generic terms for soft drinks outside the US include ‘pop’ (Canada), ‘mineral’ (Ireland), ‘soft drink’ (New Zealand and Australia). The term ‘soft drink’, finally, arose to contrast said beverages with hard (i.e. alcoholic) drinks.
September 9th, 2008 GregDDC
These are just too awesome not to watch. The editing is wonderful. I like the first one more because of the awesome cameo at the end. I am a little miffed about the embellished power of Robocop. The Terminators are just a little too easy to kill if you ask me. The whole ‘jist’ of the Terminator series was that they were practically unstoppable. You think a gas truck exploding on top of a T-101 is not enough to bring it down, not even close.
I’m also pretty certain that the ED-209 is one of the coolest robots ever made ever. Anyone remember that Kenny went as an ED-209 in the Halloween Korn episode of South Park? “Citizen, you are under arrest. You have 20 seconds to comply.”
September 5th, 2008 GregDDC
Jesus is my friend people. I have a friend in Jesus.
He taught me how to pray and how to save my soul. He taught me how to praise my god and still play Rock and Roll. The music may sound different but the message is the same. It’s just an instrument to praise his name
–Sonseed
August 29th, 2008 GregDDC
Man, it was a good month for Best of Craigslist. Here is my favorite.
Girls Piss Me Off ! ! !
Date: 2008-07-17, 8:50AM MST
Girls Piss Me Off ! ! !
Girls Piss Me Off.. “can you tell im single”? ? ?
I swear that if I wasn’t sexually attracted to girls that I’d be gay. At least
guys make sense most the time.
First off, girls just talk way too much. When you’re with your other
girlfriends, go ahead and talk about whatever the fuck you want. I don’t care.
But why exactly do you think that I care about the kind of day that your sisters
co-workers dog had? Your sister is nice enough, but I don’t know her co-worker
and I certainly don’t know her dog. So why the fuck are you telling me this
story? I don’t care! If you have something worth talking about, then I can enjoy
engaging you in a meaningful conversation. But before you start talking to me
about some of the insane frivolous shit that you talk to your girlfriends about,
first ask yourself “Does this have a point?”. Because if it doesn’t I’m just
going to smile, and nod, and zone out and you’ll get mad because I’m not
listening to your retarded shit!
Stop over complicating everything. There isn’t an ulterior motive or hidden
meaning in every other sentance. Unless, I suppose, it’s coming out of the mouth
of another woman. Because you ladies never can seem to say what you actually
mean. You have this weird secret code that you love to try and crack and expect
us guys to be able to get in on your stupid game. Guys aren’t like that. Rarely
rarely RARELY will you ever have to figure out what a guy is actually saying. We
say what we mean. Girls have such a skewed sense of logic that this simple
concept is often lost on them. When you go searching for some deeper meaning
that isn’t there, you’re just committing to an act of futility. In the end you
wind up making up some bullshit and believing that it must be true and acting on
that false reality and making a mess of something for no apparent reason other
than the fact that you’re in-fucking-sane.
Stop getting upset at guys for trying to help solve your problems. That’s what
guys do. You present us with a problem, we’re going to try and fix it. It’s in
our fucking nature. I know it’s in your nature to want to talk about everything,
but if you’re going to bring up your problems to a guy, expect that he’s going
to try and do something about it or give you advice. Women always bitch that
guys don’t listen. It’s not that we don’t listen, we just don’t understand why
you’re bringing up your problems if you don’t want us to do something about it.
We’re not as empathetic as your girlfriends, so if you want empathy, go to them.
Likewise, if guys have a problem, they’ll probably only bring it up if they need
help or advice. Many women will bitch that guys don’t talk enough. It’s not that
guys don’t talk, it’s just that your empathy doesn’t help solve our problems
when we do talk.
One of the most insanely frustrating things about women is the constant
reassurance. No, you’re not fat. If you were fat you wouldn’t be able to fit
into that size 2 dress. And yes, you look good. Guys wouldn’t be giving you free
shit if you were ugly. (There’s an ulterior fucking motive for you. Hint:
They’re not giving you free stuff just to be sweet.) It’s so frustrating having
to constantly answer those questions, only to not be believed. It’s like trying
to convince someone that the sky is blue. You’re not blind, you’re not even
color blind. You can see that the sky is blue. Yet you continue to ask what
color the sky is. I tell you it’s blue. I know that you know what color blue is.
And even though I’ve told you that the sky is blue about fifty-million times,
you still have to ask because…I don’t know…maybe it’s not blue today. The
sky is fucking blue goddammit! You’re not fucking fat! You’re not fucking ugly!
You know it, I know it, everyone fucking knows it!
And fuck all you ultra-hot girls that bitch about the most retarded things.
Yeah, all men are fucking pigs because they stare at your boobs. I’m sure it has
nothing to do with the fact that you’re wearing a skin tight low cut shirt that
has ‘Bebe’ printed across your boobs… one ‘Be’ per boob. It’s totally unfair
that you have to put up with guys staring at you all the time just because you
like to look sexy. And boo hoo, it’s so hard for you to meet a nice guy. Well
actually it isn’t, because the shoulder your crying on belongs to a nice guy.
He’s the one that puts up with all your stupid shit. And yet you some how end up
with all the assholes. I’m sure that it has nothing to do with the fact that
you’re holding out for a six foot tall alpha-male fire fighter with a trust
fund.
And finally, yay for you. You sold a freezer to some eskimos. Congratulations on
being the hot sales rep. We’re all very proud of you for being able to have a
nice ass while the rest of us actually have to work for a living. And we’re all
so excited to see your new diamond jewelry. Your ability to date another rich
fucktard that will shower you with expensive bobbles is commendable. And I’ll be
so surprised and sorry for you when he dumps you for the next hot girl. Because
I really thought that materialistic trophy bagger was in love with you. But I’m
happy to hear that you wrecked your fifth car while multi-tasking between your
cell phone and doing your make up in the mirror. Your dedication to enforcing
the stereotype of women drivers is nothing short of awe inspiring. And you’re
right, I was being a shallow douchebag when I commented on the hotness of Eva
Longoria. So lets go see that movie where Johnny Depp makes out with Orlando
Bloom on Brad Pitts abs. I know you’ve been dying to see that one.
Girls…you piss me the fuck off. You do stupid shit and manage to get away with
it. You can be the most annoying idiots in the world. Your sense of logic and
common sense seems to be a rare gift rather than a common trait. And yet I’m
uncontrollably attracted to you. And that’s quite possibly the most frustrating
thing of all.
–YES IM STILL SINGLE
August 29th, 2008 GregDDC
greg-2008-08-14.vssettings
rinehartcartoon
d9
Through the Bars
I have too much stuff on my desktop at work again so I’m putting it all up here. Hooray! Ungh. That girl is pretty much amazing, but she does have some weird finger crick action going on. I’m willing to look past that though.
August 27th, 2008 GregDDC
I found it, I finally found it. Woo ha, got you all in check.
