Creepy Gnome!
A creepy gnome has been terrorizing General Guemes, Argentina with a distinctive sideways walk. Needless to say, the locals are spooked. I can only imagine how much fun it would be to throw rocks and shuffle sideways in a distinctive manner. If I was a midget this would be my Saturday nights. I would creep up on unsuspecting teenagers and do my creepy gnome shuffle. Afterwards I’d follow them home and stare in their windows while they sleep. I’m just kidding, I’d just suck out their breath and wear cat repellant.
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This is no joke. We are still afraid to go out - just like everyone else in the neighbourhood now. One of my friends was so scared after seeing that thing that we had to take him to the hospital.
--Jose Alvarez