The Impending Zombie Holocaust
Laura:
so, what are you going to do when the zombie apocolypse hits?
so, what are you going to do when the zombie apocolypse hits?
Laura:
and gladly donate your flesh for their consumption?
that’s boring.
and gladly donate your flesh for their consumption?
that’s boring.
Greg:
i didn’t say I’d offer my flesh to them
i didn’t say I’d offer my flesh to them
Laura:
guess you didnt
guess you didnt
Greg:
when the zombie holocaust begins I will reach into my ‘break in case of zombie holocaust’ kit
when the zombie holocaust begins I will reach into my ‘break in case of zombie holocaust’ kit
Laura:
so, you’d welcome the event and the chance to kick some undead ass?
so, you’d welcome the event and the chance to kick some undead ass?
Greg:
in it i will find one shotgun and a kukri knife
in it i will find one shotgun and a kukri knife
Laura:
can you use a kukri?
can you use a kukri?
Greg:
now, depending on the type of zombies I might encounter I would have to change up my tactics a bit
yeah, I have one - it’s fucking sweet
now, depending on the type of zombies I might encounter I would have to change up my tactics a bit
yeah, I have one - it’s fucking sweet
Laura:
nice. i should have stolen Yaasir’s. he had a really nice one.
nice. i should have stolen Yaasir’s. he had a really nice one.
Greg:
if we have slow moving but powerful zombies I will raid a nearby gas station for fuel to ignite the zombies with
if we have slow moving but powerful zombies I will raid a nearby gas station for fuel to ignite the zombies with
Laura:
but, a macheti would be nice too.
but, a macheti would be nice too.
Greg:
i will rain down a firestorm of gas fueled rage onto the zombies
once they are incapactitated by the fire I will shoot them in the head from long distance with my crossbow
i will rain down a firestorm of gas fueled rage onto the zombies
once they are incapactitated by the fire I will shoot them in the head from long distance with my crossbow
Greg:
now
if we have rage zombies otherwise known as speed zombies
now
if we have rage zombies otherwise known as speed zombies
Laura:
i dont think there are different types of zombies. they’re all hungry shuffling machines.
i dont think there are different types of zombies. they’re all hungry shuffling machines.
Greg:
the tactics change again
i would stick to driving around and hitting them with my front-end loader
then I would make a break for the country side, clear a path through the living dead (where their numbers are lower) and create a hold
in this hold I will maintain a cache of weapons and food until I can manage to find an attack helicopter
after a few months of training I should be able to fly out of the situation and kill a few zombie strongholds with air-to-ground missle attacks
also, i will become quite buff so I look all awesome with my zombie torn shirt
the tactics change again
i would stick to driving around and hitting them with my front-end loader
then I would make a break for the country side, clear a path through the living dead (where their numbers are lower) and create a hold
in this hold I will maintain a cache of weapons and food until I can manage to find an attack helicopter
after a few months of training I should be able to fly out of the situation and kill a few zombie strongholds with air-to-ground missle attacks
also, i will become quite buff so I look all awesome with my zombie torn shirt
Laura:
hmm, i was just planning on getting to the vista, after picking up whatever weapons i can, and holding out there.
hmm, i was just planning on getting to the vista, after picking up whatever weapons i can, and holding out there.
Greg:
i’m thinking the best place to hole’up would be above a supermarket
access to canned foods would be a necessitity after a few days
i’m thinking the best place to hole’up would be above a supermarket
access to canned foods would be a necessitity after a few days
Laura:
but, it would depend on how much time i’d have to get ready.
but, it would depend on how much time i’d have to get ready.
Greg:
well, if the failed scientific sattelite with strange and unknown compounds that can cause the dead to rise lands in Oklahoma City I’d say that you have, at most, 2 hours to prepare
if it lands in Dallas then perhaps a day
well, if the failed scientific sattelite with strange and unknown compounds that can cause the dead to rise lands in Oklahoma City I’d say that you have, at most, 2 hours to prepare
if it lands in Dallas then perhaps a day
Laura:
right. i’d be okay with that (it landing in dallas).
right. i’d be okay with that (it landing in dallas).
Greg:
fuck Texas anyway
fuck Texas anyway
Laura:
right. although, that means more undead right off the bat.
but the extra time is worth it.
right. although, that means more undead right off the bat.
but the extra time is worth it.
Greg:
a good thing about Dallas is that there are no military bases there
also, it is not a capitol or seat of government
a good thing about Dallas is that there are no military bases there
also, it is not a capitol or seat of government
Laura:
so?
so?
Greg:
that makes it an easy asset to let go to stave off a zombie holocaust
that makes it an easy asset to let go to stave off a zombie holocaust
Laura:
ah.
ah.
Greg:
a pair of 50 kiloton nuclear warheads would flatten it and quell the zombie uprising
a pair of 50 kiloton nuclear warheads would flatten it and quell the zombie uprising
Laura:
damn this world and it’s nonexistant zombies. it’s boring.
damn this world and it’s nonexistant zombies. it’s boring.
Greg:
the other problem with Dallas as a zombie epicenter is that it is not blocked on any side
the other problem with Dallas as a zombie epicenter is that it is not blocked on any side
Laura:
we need a good zombie invasion to reduce the population and to calm everything down.
we need a good zombie invasion to reduce the population and to calm everything down.
Greg:
making all possible directions a zombie infection vector
making all possible directions a zombie infection vector
Laura:
true.
alrighty, i’m off to class.
true.
alrighty, i’m off to class.
Greg:
later shooter
don’t get taken in the impending zombie war
later shooter
don’t get taken in the impending zombie war
Laura:
good to know you’ve got this scenario worked out in your head.
later.
good to know you’ve got this scenario worked out in your head.
later.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Sounds like we need to start training now, cause you never know…
March 11th, 2008 at 11:08 am
You lost me at
“Greg:
fuck Texas anyway”
That was hurtful.