Religious tracts - Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn
I love religious tracts. They’re one of my favorite things in the world. You might know them as those short and wide pamphlets the crazies are always handing out. You know the ones! They might tell you that you’re going to hell and will get AIDS for having pre-martial sex. Maybe they’ll tell you that all homosexuals have AIDS and are going to commit blood-terrorism! Perhaps you were wondering “Who murdered Clarice?!” Liberals are turning good Christians into social pariahs for not loving teh homogays!
Don’t think that Catholics get out of the sight of the wise and knowing eye of these tracts. Did you know that Mary cries whenever someone prays to her or that Catholics aren’t even christians? It would seem that the Eucharist is a Death Cookie! Even COMPLETE LOSERS LIKE JIMMY can be redeemed. Also, don’t put your faith in Presidente Carlos for in doing so you turn your heart from the lord.
Needless to say, these people are insane. But they don’t know what real horror is! I present to you the best religious tract of all time, The Cthulhu Tract. This is singlehandedly the greatest piece of literature on religion ever created. That’s not conjecture, it’s fact. Give the whole thing a read. If you do not you will not be aware of your hopeless existence of unendingly painful insanity in the face of the cosmic truths of the universe which your puny intellect can’t possibly fathom!
–Cthulhu Tract
July 25th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Wow, that was a great comic! But I think you’ve totally forgotten about a local Oklahoman County Commissioner also inspired by chick tracts…. He created this comic book to explain how evil gays like me are! Anal Sodomy, yay!
July 25th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I think I may have heard about that. Got to love our Oklahoma senators. And yes, you are evil. Very, very evil.