September 12th, 2008 GregDDC
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This is from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source. I likes it.
EUREKA, CA—A local mountain lion came face-to-face with a group of hikers and made it out alive, sources reported Monday. Wildlife officials are crediting the courageous cougar’s quick thinking, catlike reflexes, and 150 pounds of coiled muscle with successfully fending off the human foot travelers.
Enlarge Image Mountain Lion
The quick-thinking cougar managed to escape by going for his attackers’ vulnerable torsos.
The mountain lion was reportedly enjoying a quiet afternoon walk around Redwood National Park, on the same path it had taken almost every single day for the past three years, when it heard a rustling sound emanating from the underbrush. Upon investigation, the large feline noticed that a pack of hikers—one adult male, two young children, and an adult female that it instantly recognized as the mother—had crossed into territory that the cat had clearly marked as its own via tree scrapings and urine.
Outnumbered four to one, the cougar, fearing for its life, somehow managed to stay calm. It remained perfectly still in a crouched position and stared directly at the hikers, in the hopes that they would simply pass by. The hikers, however, were undeterred. They began shrieking loudly, clapping their hands, and throwing sticks and rocks at the animal in an apparent attempt to injure it.
“Nothing can prepare a mountain lion for an encounter with four hikers,” said park ranger Kenneth Meiggs, noting that it is unusual to find hikers in that particular area of the woods. “In order to defend itself, the cougar had to rely on pure instinct alone.”
Enlarge Image Anatomy Of An Assault
Armed with nothing more than four-inch claws, razor-sharp teeth, and a 5.4-meter vertical leap, the mountain lion lunged at the adult male hiker. In a defensive measure, it pinned the hiker to the ground, thus disabling the man’s primary means of attack. After a brief struggle, the animal was eventually able to lock onto the hiker’s skull with its jaw.
“Repeated biting of the skull and face is the textbook way to fend off a human attack,” said Mike Kasperski, biologist and author of the book Hikers: Shadows In The Forest.
The mother, however, became increasingly aggressive due to the presence of her young. She reportedly ran toward the mountain lion with a four-inch-wide log and began striking it upon the head. Not knowing what else to do, the feline tore a foot-wide hole in the hiker’s stomach, but the enraged female continued to fight, poking the feline in the eye with her finger. The cougar, in a last-ditch effort for survival, whipped its claws across the woman’s throat, killing her instantly.
Remarkably, this brave mountain lion is only 4 and a half years old.
“It’s amazing what some mountain lions are capable of when faced with the most dire of circumstances,” Meiggs said. “To think that those hikers were a mere 20 yards away, and the lion walked away unscathed…. Wow.”
The two younger hikers received small lacerations on their legs and chest, while the adult male is being treated for massive head trauma and internal bleeding. The mother, identified as Cyndi Thalls, 38, of Pacoima, CA, was pronounced dead at the scene.
“I think it’s safe to say those hikers will think twice before getting into another tussle with this feisty little fellow,” Meiggs added with a chuckle.
Following the incident, the mountain lion retreated into the woods, escaping with nothing more than a few minor scratches and a blood-covered snout. At press time, it is resting comfortably on a large rock.
September 10th, 2008 GregDDC
I’m sure you all have seen this before, it’s been everywhere on the tubes. But I think it’s interesting so you get to see it again. Isn’t it curious that Oklahoma is one of the most divided states in the nation (along with Florida, South Carolina and New Mexico)? Another interesting item of note is that a lot of the areas of influence center around a large city, look at Chicago. ‘Sodas’ awash in a sea of ‘Pops’.
From Strange Maps:
When on a hot summer’s day you buy a carbonated beverage to quench your thirst, how do you order it? Do you ask for a soda, a pop or something else? That question lay at the basis of an article in the Journal of English Linguistics (Soda or Pop?, #24, 1996) and of a map, showing the regional variation in American English of the names given to that type of drink.
The article was written by Luanne von Schneidemesser, PhD in German linguistics and philology from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and senior editor of the Dictionary of American Regional English. And although there might be weightier issues in life (or even in linguistics) than the preferred terminology for a can of soft drink, there’s nothing trivial about this part of the beverage industry.
“According to an article last year in the Isthmus, Madison’s weekly newspaper, Americans drink so much of the carbonated beverages sold under such brand names as Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Sprite, Mountain Dew, and 7-Up that consumption averages 43 gallons per year for every man, woman, and child in the United States,” Von Schneidemesser begins her article. “The Statistical Abstract of the United States (1994) confirms this: 44.1 gallons per person in 1992, compared to the next most consumed beverages: beer (32.7 gallons), coffee (27.8 gallons), and milk (25.3 gallons).”
It must be that ubiquity of soft drinks that has made this pop vs soda map the single-most submitted map to this blog, sent in by over 100 contributors. The map details the areas where certain usages predominate.
- coke: this generic term for soft drinks predominates throughout the South, New Mexico, central Indiana and in a few other single counties in Nevada, Utah and Wyoming. ‘Coke’ obviously derives from Coca-Cola, the brand-name of the soft drink originally manufactured in Atlanta (which explains its use as a generic term for all soft drinks in the South).
- pop: dominates the Northwest, Great Plains and Midwest. The world ‘pop’ was introduced by Robert Southey, the British Poet Laureate (1774-1843), to whom we also owe the word ‘autobiography’, among others. In 1812, he wrote: A new manufactory of a nectar, between soda-water and ginger-beer, and called pop, because ‘pop goes the cork’ when it is drawn. Even though it was introduced by a Poet Laureate, the term ‘pop’ is considered unsophisticated by some, because it is onomatopaeic.
- soda: prevalent in the Northeast, greater Miami, the area in Missouri and Illinois surrounding St Louis and parts of northern California. ‘Soda’ derives from ‘soda-water’ (also called club soda, carbonated or sparkling water or seltzer). It’s produced by dissolving carbon dioxide gas in plain water, a procedure developed by Joseph Priestly in the latter half of the 18th century. The fizziness of soda-water caused the term ‘soda’ to be associated with later, similarly carbonated soft drinks.
- Other, lesser-used terms include ‘dope’ in the Carolinas and ‘tonic’ in and around Boston, both fading in popularity. Other generic terms for soft drinks outside the US include ‘pop’ (Canada), ‘mineral’ (Ireland), ‘soft drink’ (New Zealand and Australia). The term ‘soft drink’, finally, arose to contrast said beverages with hard (i.e. alcoholic) drinks.
September 9th, 2008 GregDDC
These are just too awesome not to watch. The editing is wonderful. I like the first one more because of the awesome cameo at the end. I am a little miffed about the embellished power of Robocop. The Terminators are just a little too easy to kill if you ask me. The whole ‘jist’ of the Terminator series was that they were practically unstoppable. You think a gas truck exploding on top of a T-101 is not enough to bring it down, not even close.
I’m also pretty certain that the ED-209 is one of the coolest robots ever made ever. Anyone remember that Kenny went as an ED-209 in the Halloween Korn episode of South Park? “Citizen, you are under arrest. You have 20 seconds to comply.”
August 27th, 2008 GregDDC
I found it, I finally found it. Woo ha, got you all in check.
August 13th, 2008 GregDDC
Base Drunk (bās drəŋk), n., pl.-drunks. a drunk applied before the main drinking of the day. Typically applied in the mid-afternoon, it allows for an easier to attain and more sustainable drunk later in the day. Can also be used to save money at expensive bars.
A few years ago my friend Derek and I were looking to go out drinking. We knew that the main event was happening much later in the day but our thirst was insatiable. So we parked in front of the TV and began our adventure. A football game or two later and we were pretty messed up. It was still the middle of the day and we only had plans for that evening. It was at this point that we ran out of drinks. Instead of going out to get more we simply let the drunk play itself out. Eventually we reached a level of sobriety that was a very close cousin of dead-sober.
Later on in the night we went to a party. We found that our drunk (which had been all but extinguished by time and food) easily reappeared. It was a miracle. We were able to enjoy the drunken level we had attained earlier in the day without any of the work. Thus the “base drunk” was born. I don’t remember who coined the phrase, Derek or myself, but I do know that it is both apt and apropos. And that, my good friends, is the story of the “base drunk”. Use this knowledge wisely.
August 4th, 2008 GregDDC
I thought it would be a bit cooler here in Norman now that I’m back from the sweltering death that is Houston. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed myself; it’s just more that a little hot there. We posted up at a number of places. My favorite was the Houston Dynamo game. We did a bit of tailgating before and after the game. There was beer, burgers and hot dogs. It was pretty fun. We went into the game and it was a blowout. The Columbus Crew didn’t have a prayer against the mighty Dynamo. I’m pretty sure my beloved Reds would stomp them into the ground though.
That wasn’t the only event on our itinerary though. Before the game we went to the St. Arnold Brewery for a brewery tour. There were several hundred people there and we were all thirsty for sweet refreshing beer. It was a mild 105+ degrees in the brewery and public sweatiness was the norm. We didn’t come as prepared as some of the veterans of the brewery tour though. Those bitches has sandwiches!
Continuing with my time-reversed portrayal of my Houston trip we ended the night before the Dynamo game by going to a super-awesome Ume concert. The first thing that you should know about Ume is that they do not fuck around. They are quite the sight to see. It will rock your sensibilities to the core seeing the smallest and cutest girl in the world smashing your brain with pure liquid rock. She has killer legs too. Whee!
Ume - Manic
We visited the Houston Aquarium. It was both awesome and air conditioned, a double plus. There were lots of critters there. We made friends with a sting ray we named Vernon. I’m pretty sure he wanted to drink my blood. Tara promised me that he was just trying to jump on me so I could take him home, not to drink my blood. There are two white tigers at the aquarium “because tigers like to play in the water”. They were very pretty and VERY big. There is also a tunnel-shaped aquarium that is filled with sharks. It was a pretty sweet facility.
During the hottest and most impressively disgusting day I have had the honor of experiencing in a very long time we went to Space Center Houston. Shit, it was hot outside. We went because of the (seemingly) awesome Star Wars exhibit. The video makes it seem FUCKING AWESOME. It is, in fact, not FUCKING AWESOME. Not even close. Not even one bit. This video shows every single bit of the exhibit. Now you don’t have to go, lucky you.
We did take the tour of the Space Center. It was ok, but with the heat it was probably not the best idea. We had to wait in line for quite a while in the blazing heat. It was lovely, look at the pictures. You can tell how much fun Lulu and Tay Tay are having. The Saturn V rocket exhibit is crazy awesome. You open the door and BAM! that thing is all in your face. It’s an experience. Lulu also had some astronaut ice cream, it made my mouth taste like sludge.
Finally we spent the first night eating and drinking. We posted up at the pool and set to drinking. Fun was had.
Thanks again for letting us post up with you Tara. We’ll have to do it again sometime.
**UPDATE** Tara has made a post about this trip as well. Be sure to “post-up” over there and check it out.
July 29th, 2008 GregDDC
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I have added my predictions for the 2008 Sooner football season. Feel free to comment about it on its page. This is in response to Josh’s predictions.
I took it a bit further including the score for the Big XII Championship against Colorado and the National Championship against Clemson (you can’t avoid us, you bastards!). I also kept the Kansas game closer and the Kansas State game is total domination (instead of his 31-29 nail biter). We both agree on the Texas A&M game as well. I hope to see more of your predictions so we can compare. Get ready folks, this is going to be one hell of a year.
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Date
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Opponent
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Prediction
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Score
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08/30/2008
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Chattanooga
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W 61 - 3
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09/06/2008
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Cincinnati
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W 31 - 14
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09/13/2008
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at Washington
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W 17 - 14
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09/27/2008
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TCU
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W 49 - 17
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10/04/2008
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at Baylor
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W 60 - 17
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10/11/2008
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Texas
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W 24 - 14
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10/18/2008
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Kansas
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W 27 - 21
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10/25/2008
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Kansas State
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W 49 - 7
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11/01/2008
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Nebraska
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W 42 - 6
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11/08/2008
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at Texas A&M
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W 28 - 21
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11/22/2008
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Texas Tech
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W 41 - 13
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11/29/2008
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at Oklahoma State
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W 21 - 10
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12/06/2008
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Big XXI Championship (Colorado)
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W 34 - 24
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01/08/2009
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National Championship (Clemson)
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W 21 - 0
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July 25th, 2008 GregDDC
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I love religious tracts. They’re one of my favorite things in the world. You might know them as those short and wide pamphlets the crazies are always handing out. You know the ones! They might tell you that you’re going to hell and will get AIDS for having pre-martial sex. Maybe they’ll tell you that all homosexuals have AIDS and are going to commit blood-terrorism! Perhaps you were wondering “Who murdered Clarice?!” Liberals are turning good Christians into social pariahs for not loving teh homogays!
Don’t think that Catholics get out of the sight of the wise and knowing eye of these tracts. Did you know that Mary cries whenever someone prays to her or that Catholics aren’t even christians? It would seem that the Eucharist is a Death Cookie! Even COMPLETE LOSERS LIKE JIMMY can be redeemed. Also, don’t put your faith in Presidente Carlos for in doing so you turn your heart from the lord.
The Holocaust was a Roman Catholic Inquisition against the Jews. No true Christians would kill anyone in the name of Jesus. God commands us to love the Jewish people.
–Holocaust
Needless to say, these people are insane. But they don’t know what real horror is! I present to you the best religious tract of all time, The Cthulhu Tract. This is singlehandedly the greatest piece of literature on religion ever created. That’s not conjecture, it’s fact. Give the whole thing a read. If you do not you will not be aware of your hopeless existence of unendingly painful insanity in the face of the cosmic truths of the universe which your puny intellect can’t possibly fathom!
No merciful, paternalistic “god” looks down on you from the heavens - just an endless, frozen void that cares nothing about the fate of a collection of insignificant bipedal microbes at the hands of vastly more powerful beings whose motives their puny minds cannot even comprehend!
–Cthulhu Tract
